Holding On

My whole life is about holding on.

To you.

Holding on until you were born – then holding you in my arms.

Holding on just one more night with no sleep.

Holding on until your dad or grandma finally came as my back-up so I could take a shower.

Holding on to your stroller as we looked for birds and dogs at the park.

Holding on to your little hand as your took your first little stumbling steps…

Then I let go and you ran.

Holding your hand in the parking lot, and when we crossed the street.

Holding on to the swing, waiting at the bottom of the slide, holding your legs when you tried the monkey bars.

Holding on to your tricycle, your scooter, your bike with the training wheels…

Then your “big kid” bike.

I cried when you took off on your own.

My life is holding your head when you’re sick.

Holding your little sad body when you’re crying –

Your squirmy legs when you’re supposed to be sitting down.

It’s holding on to your popsicle-smeared smiles –

To your arms when we twirl for a dance –

To your “I love yous” in your little elf-y voice.

And you’re growing up. You’re different every day. Beautiful. Confident. Smart. Caring.

And you don’t really need me quite as much as you used to.

But you are my baby, and I’ve held on to you for so long that I will never stop.

So just know that I will be holding on to you in my mind –

In my prayers –

In my heart.